Still recovering...

Went in for my iron infusion on 11/19 and I'm slowly but surely rebounding.  I'll find out on 12/13 if the infusion is working and with any luck I won't have to go through that process again.

In the days leading up to my infusion I did a lot of poking around on the interwebs to find out about other peoples experiences and hopefully have some idea of what to expect.  Holy. Jesus.  There were some horror stories out there.  I just want to say that my experience was textbook, uneventful, and seems to be working *knock on wood*.

I arrived at the HOPE Cancer Center at 9am.  Got settled in my fancy recliner and was set up with my IV and premeds.  Tylenol, Zantac, Benadryl, and a steroid... THEN finally I was ready for my test dose of iron. The whole idea of needing that many drugs and then a test dose to make sure there wasn't going to be any horrific reaction was a bit unnerving.  I got to hang out with a saline bag for about 30 minutes after my test dose just to be ABSOLUTELY sure nothing terrifying was going to happen.  All went well.  I hung out and watched Thanksgiving cooking shows on Foodnetwork and tried to tune out the most annoying sound in the world.



Physically the whole thing was pretty easy.  Emotionally it was one of the longest days of my life.  To be there getting iron and sitting next to people receiving chemo was... difficult.  I will never apologize for my emotions dealing with my own health experiences but it did give a certain amount of perspective.  It could be worse.

And then I became a Vampire...

... sort of.

I still haven't tested whether or not I sparkle or burn in the sun.

So I spent Sunday doing the fun colonoscopy prep... again.  This time it was prep for a capsule endoscopy (swallowing a cool camera pill with a flashy light).  My blood work still showed that I was very anemic so the next step was to make sure nothing in my small intestine was being missed.  I needed to be at the hospital at 6:30am.  The plan was, I go in, swallow the capsule, wear the ever fashionable recording device for 8 hours, and then drop it back off to be read by my GI.

Things rarely go as planned.  I woke up at 6 feeling pretty faint and worn down.  During the process of getting ready to go to the hospital I ended up passing out.  I totally fell off the potty and woke up in the tub.  I was able to get up on my own and even walk myself into the hospital once we got there.  I registered at Out Patient Surgery and the nurses were immediately concerned about how ill I was feeling.  Blood was drawn and it was determined that because of my symptoms I needed to be taken to the ER.

Once I got to ER they drew blood for every test they could ... which seems counter intuitive if my one known issue is very low blood levels... but I'm not a doctor.  Once test results came back they immediately began the blood transfusion process.  The line in my arm promptly blew and then the doctor had to come in and place a line in my neck for the blood.  They set me up in a room with a view and around 12:30 I was finally able to begin the capsule endoscopy.

I must have spoken to at least 4 doctors who all have slightly varying opinions on what might be going on.  The guesses range from my body not replacing blood loss from menstruation, to possible GI bleed.  I am calling to set up an appointment with a hematologist today and will hopefully have the capsule endoscopy results by the end of the week. More tests in my future but hopefully that will lead to more answers.

Now stop reading this and go vote.

A Gluten and (relatively) Anxiety Free Vacation: or How I SurvivedWilliamsburg. Part 1.

We recently made a huge step in getting back to our "normal" lifestyle.  We went on VACATION!  I know... I know... our inability to vacation over the past few years is TOTALLY a first world problem.  I get it.  I'm still really excited at the possibilities this has opened up for us.

For our first adventure we decided not to stray too far from home.  After dosing myself with Dramamine and Xanax we made the two and half hour pilgrimage to Williamsburg where our very generous brother and sister (in-laws can be so totally awesome) set us up with their time share.  Having access to a full kitchen got  rid of sooooo much anxiety.  We still had to be careful of things we hadn't had to worry about in a while (don't use the toaster, make sure everything is very clean, or lined before cooking) but I cannot imagine trying to travel any other way for more than a couple of days.

I handled the car portion of the journey by traveling with a pillow in my lap.  This wonderful suggestion came from my grandmother, who also suffers from fibromyalgia, and was very helpful.  We also stopped about halfway through the trip so everyone could get out and move around a bit.  I can see frequent stops being really key to car travel with fibro.

I was so excited to get settled in and to shop at Trader Joe's!  Yes.  I went into the grocery store!  And I wasn't overwhelmed by tons of super high aisles, five different types of flooring, and way too many choices (I know... these first world problems really get in my way).  Everyone had a great first day.  The girls were excited to share a room and I got to watch FoodNetowork.

Phase one of operation vacation had been completed.

Trader Joe's Sparkling
Lemonade in a fancy glass.

A recipe. I know right?!

Tonight we experimented a little with dinner.  We sliced up some eggplant ran it through an egg wash and coated it in grated Parmesan and Asiago mixed with a bit of garlic powder.  Fried until crispy and served with GF spaghetti with Trader Joe's Vodka Sauce.  Delicious.

I will post about all of our vacation adventures soon.

Happy Autumn!

Homeschool Adventure

We're all still standing.  We're all still having fun.  At the end of the day we don't all hate each others faces...  I'm calling the first 2.5 weeks of homeschooling a success.

Bed Rest...

... The only good thing about being on bed rest the past 3 days is that I've been able to finish the Hunger Games books again.  Not sure what is going on.  Recovering from a possible glutening/vertigo/firbro annoyance.  If I'm not feeling better tomorrow I'll make the fun call to the doctor.

For now I'm going to go stare at all of the things I'll never actually do on Pinterest and try to finish this weeks Samurai Sudoku in the Washington Post.  Should be fun...

Made crayons with the kids Thursday.  Much fun had by all.

Where have you been?

I've been here waiting for you for weeks...

But seriously.  I was busy doing stuff.  I know, right?  I was actually DOING STUFF!  Like, normal people stuff.  Taking the kids to the playground, going to the grocery store, standing in front of people.  I stood in front of people and I didn't vomit, pass out, or yell anything inappropriate.  Oh yeah, and I shaved my head.  By far and away the best summer do.

The past week has been painful and nauseating but I'm making it through.  It has been a while since I have had a really bad fibro flare so I suppose I was due.  I am hoping to be feeling a bit better by my birthday this weekend but even if I'm not I WILL get to eat strawberry shortcake and watch the premiere of Dr. Who.  YAY!

If you have a few minutes you should go read this blog and know that this is one of the most inspirational people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  http://www.loveinfinitysquared.org/

Mangez Plus De Coq

I may or may not have taken a little liberty with that translation but... freedom of speech!

I am fascinated by the reaction to the recent boycott of Chik-Fil-A.  I also find it confusing that groups of people who claim to support Chik-Fil-A under the guise of "freedom of speech" are making such blatant attacks against people who are simply exercising their... Freedom of Speech.  I suppose it's only OK when what people are saying jives with your personal belief system?

I wonder...

if we were to find out that privately held fast food chain Chicken Partz was donating money to organizations that went out of their way to support an agenda that kept people with hazel eyes from being able to marry other people with hazel eyes would this still be an issue of free speech?  Would you still choose to spend your money on their MSG soaked product and create a special Eat More Chicken day just to show your support for their right to keep people with Hazel eyes from participating in a legal union?  If so then... strange...  but more power to you.  That is in fact your right.  As it is my right to eat less chicken (in fact I choose to eat no chicken) and not have my money go to support an agenda which would keep people who I hold very dear from being able to enjoy the basic right to spend their life in legal union with the person they love. Even if they happen to both have hazel eyes.

Chik-Fil-A has every right to donate money to what ever organization they chose.  I have every right to not spend money there and let people know why.

GOD!  Don't you LOVE this country!!

Anniversaries, Land Hurricanes, and Insomnia. Trifecta!

No matter how much I would like to get my hands on every calendar before it is printed and edit out June 29 I know it will still happen.   Every year.  Right between June 28th and June 30th.  Forever.
 8 Years ago I lost my baby sister.  I hate that term... "lost"... I know exactly where she is.
It's horrible that an accident should take someone so young and so full of life.  15 years old.
The most difficult part of turning 30 for me was the realization that I have lived twice as many years as she was given.  Logically I know there is no reason to feel guilt over something like that... emotionally however it makes me dry heave.  Emotional dry heaves are unpleasant and a special kind of uncomfortable.  This year however was slightly different.  Not better.  I don't think it will ever be better, but different... I think I can work with different.

Friday evening brought an interesting weather experience to our area.  To say the least.  I had never even HEARD of a "land hurricane" but apparently, from time to time, these beasts do rear their ugly heads.  Jeff and I ended up hanging out in the basement hoping that it just sounded a lot worse than it was.  Turns out it was pretty bad.  Luckily our property wasn't horribly damaged.  We just lost the top of a tree and some shingles.  We went out Saturday morning to get roofing materials and Lowes was so busy I had to ask a random group of contractors if any of them could help me pick out the type of roofing cement I needed.  Lowes is typically one of the places I can't spend more than 15 minutes in before becoming nauseous and disoriented but this time I managed to make it through while holding a conversation with a complete stranger.  WIN!  When we got home we discovered that someone had taken care of our downed tree problem.  My goal is to discover who is responsible and bake them cookies.

The girls enjoyed their weekend with the grandparents in Lynchburg even without electricity.  Piper has discovered a love for gymnastics and they both tried to qualify for the men's 50 meter free style but both ended up finishing about 1,150 miles away.

Insomnia seems to have returned.  I hope that the flare this is inevitably leading up to isn't too long lasting.  I guess land hurricanes should be expected to bring fibro flares along with the neighbors trash can.

Trying to look forward to the 4th of July and spending some extra time with my favorites.

Piper's impression of a bag lady.

Catharsis...

Father's Day has always been complicated for me.  Why?  Probably because I think too much about things that can never be changed... but that is who I am.  The product of an uninvolved biological representation of "father" and emotionally unavailable legal representation of "father" it is easy to wallow in the thought of what I never had.  That isn't fair though.  To do that would be to ignore the fact that I have been blessed in my life with many representations of "father" who have, knowingly or not, banded together to do a fantastic job of giving me love, support, and confidence when I needed it the most.  This Father's Day I would like to thank all of the men who have had a positive influence on the person I have become.

I also have to say thank you to Jeff.  Thank you for being the best father I could ever hope for, for our children.  Thank you for your endless patience, support and guidance for them.  Even on days like today when they are acting like total spoiled jerk faces, they love you more than you will ever know.


Happy Father's Day

We made it.

More on all of this after I have recuperated.

Mommy's preoperative therapy session.

Pre Op

Jeff all ready to go back for the
anesthesia portion of the adventure

My brief stay in the
waiting area alone.

Waking up in post op recovery.
Everything went very well.

Chronically Awesome.

Found this today and want to share with everyone.  Go visit... go on.

 Chronically Awesome 

The fact is...

There is no Gluten...

ONLY ZUUL!

The past few days have been an interesting adventure.  After watching the documentary Vegucated  I decided that I cannot, at least for the time being, eat meat anymore.  I have not given up eggs, or dairy or fish... but my particular bastardization of the vegetarian diet has had WONDERFUL effects on my stomach.  And in the end I'm not at all concerned with fitting into anyone's definition of anything... I just don't want to hurt anymore.  Another plus side is the kids are going along with this plan without any hesitation.  The kids are eating salad.  Though I do have to admit that Piper is a lot more willing than Sydney.  That shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who has ever met them.

I was lulled into a false sense of security today and decided to try adding a little caffeine into my life.  While my stomach has escaped this experiment relatively unscathed at this point, my nerves are just about SHOT.  So apparently still too crazy for the go juice.

I can't even make this stuff up...

Colonoscopy prep is one of the most unsexy things a person can ever experience.  Spell check is telling me that unsexy is not a word... well I hate to break it to you spell check but that is exactly how I felt.  Between starvation induced delirium and sedatives I don't remember much of Tuesday.  I'm fine with that.

Wednesday morning began with a trip to the ER for the two year old.  She and big sister got into a fight over a toy and little sister ended up with a nursemaid's elbow.  Wednesday ended with a trip to CVS in which I had to convince the Pharmacist that when he filled my Prozac prescription he gave me 20 pills instead of 30... Yes, I was the lady insisting she had been short changed on the crazy pills.  Luckily I only had to discuss the matter with 3 people before they gave me more pills and sent me on my way.

Thursday brought fantastic news -- All biopsies were negative!

And while I am obviously happy to not have gremlins living in my intestines it still leaves me asking - Why do I hurt All The Time?...

Who turned off the sun??!!

Stop Raining!

I feel like it has been raining for the past forever.  I have decided that if it isn't sunny tomorrow I am going to eat a bottle of Vitamin D in order to hold off complete insanity.  The fibro flares have gotten a bit ridiculous with the weird weather.  Yesterday was so bad my hair hurt.  **whine**whine**whine**

My attempt at brightening my mood. 

Panic Attacks And Colonoscopies And Pizza, Oh My!

A better shot of the new do.

This morning started with a visit to the GI to schedule my upper endoscopy and colonoscopy.  Sexy I know.  It's a curse...  While the nurse was going over my paperwork and explaining to me how I will need to drink a gallon of laxative (this is not an exaggeration) I started to have a panic attack.  After sitting with my head between my legs and sipping on some coke I felt a little better (and embarrassed).  I suppose if you're going to have a panic attack the place to do so is in the presence of a nurse.  Hoping this round of tests gives some sort of answer.  Now I'm going to go try not to have a panic attack every time I think of that gallon jug of laxative... and I'm going to watch more Stargate:SG1.

If you haven't seen it yet, here is the video containing the warning for those with Celiacs or Gluten Sensitivity.

A wonderful first step for a large franchise to reach for the gluten free market however it would be nice if they could find a way to reach those of us who HAVE to eat this way and aren't just riding the wave of the latest diet fad.

Sometimes I make poor life choices...

...that turn out cute in the end.

If you ever ask your husband how he would feel about cutting your hair and he replies with "I don't think I'm the person for that job."  Listen to him.  A call to mommy later I have a new look and the kids both got their first hair cuts.

Now for watching some basketball.

Rikki Tikki Tavi

Today didn't go at all as planned.  We didn't make mint jelly with my mom and we didn't go to a Kentucky Derby party.  We did however rearrange the living room furniture and rid the world of a vengeful serpent.  Note to all snakes:  If I can see you, you will be destroyed.  I was inspired to go on a mongoose search to teach the snakes a lesson.  I figure I'll set up an army of Rikki Tikki Tavis to save my sanity.  I kind of love the fact that I found a mongoose skull for sale on eBay.  Even more in love with the fact that the item condition is listed as 'used'.  I wish there were a car fax equivalent for mongoose skulls.

If you aren't playing 'Chickens and Wizards'
with your kids then you are missing out.

Drugs...

Upping the Prozac is a sonofabitch...

And now I'm fairly certain that what I thought was the flu that I got shortly after going on Prozac was actually side effects.  Not awesome but luckily not long lasting.  Hopefully I'll be feeling better in the next couple of days.

Rainy Days And Mondays

Growing up with a mom who is sick 90% of the time should occasionally come with perks, right?  We're having lemon cupcakes because it is Monday and because it is raining.

Lets see what happens when I try to be efficient...

... I just got finished making tomorrow mornings pancakes...

Life could get a lot easier if I learn to be the efficient on a regular basis.  I really hope no one out there is holding their breath... but I'll keep you updated.

I used the Bobs Red Mill mix but I added in some cinnamon, vanilla, and about a Tbs of Apple Butter.  They're really good but man are they dense.  Anyone else have this issue with this particular mix?  Wonderful for if you're in a hurry, otherwise I would stick with the oat flour recipe.

Added in some allergy medicine into the mix today.  The weather in Virginia is CrAzY right now.  Hoping to fight off some dizziness.

Piper's latest masterpiece.
It's about time to have her fingerpaint a canvas.
Excitement!

I love Saturdays.

Had a productive day painting the dinning room a slightly different shade of white.  When did I become that person?  It does make me happy though.  Much easier to look at than the stark white.  Bermuda sand is what it is called.

Had a delicious dinner.  The kids refused to eat it, but they can kind of be jerks sometimes.

Pasta Primavera?  Sure.  That's what we'll call it.

I cooked Tinkyada brown rice penne according to the package directions.  While that was cooking I put a bag of frozen mixed veggies in a skillet with a little butter and warmed them through.  Once the veggies were all thawed I added about half a package of cream cheese, 2 tbs plain yogurt, dash of basil, dash of oregano, dash of onion powder, dash of garlic powder, little bit of salt.  Once the pasta was done I threw it** into the pan with the veggies and mixed it all together.  Delicious.  Don't listen to my kids.

Can anyone tell me why it is so difficult to find a good Dalek ring tone?

**I lied.  The pasta was actually placed gingerly into the pan.

Adventures...

Red Pill or Blue Pill

Today's adventure took me to the eyeball doctor.  A good friend of mine reminded me while I was there not to let the doctor bounce my eyeball (thank you Zuckerberg for making it possible for my friends to keep my ass in line at ALL times).  I assured her that if that were to happen then I would punch the Doctor in the boob.  And I would have... but everyone escaped relatively unharmed.  My pupils were 10x's too large when I left but they seem to be getting over themselves.  When I have episodes of vertigo I end up with tired and blurry vision so I wanted to make sure everything was on the up and up.  She says my eyes look great.  Very healthy.  This is good news and she could have stopped there but then she says "You are strange though".  Um... yeah... totally could have told you that.  Anyways she says when my eyes are dilated my nearsightedness improves.  Shut up pupils!

Here is what we had for dinner tonight - this isn't exactly a recipe... but I haven't exactly mastered whatever this creation will end up being.  But you should try it. It's good.

I made some hulled buckwheat using beef broth, added a can of black beans (rinsed and drained), and I mixed a little bit of a can of diced tomatoes in with it (just enough to add moisture).  Added a dash of salt, onion powder, and paprika and served on romaine leaves.  Next time I make this I'm going to add corn and possibly a little bit of garlic.  All in all VERY tasty.  I also toasted up some Udi's hamburger buns and slathered them in apple butter.  Because... sometimes you just need to have apple butter.  Right?  Right.

I also think I have found a great craft project for this weekend... or a weekend... might not happen this weekend.  TARDIS refrigerator.

Busy...busy...busybusybusy

My brain is working overtime right now.  I have several little projects up my sleeve.  I also REALLY wanted to share this post from the Bloggess and hope you follow some of the links to find out more about the Traveling Red Dress Project.

AAAaaand... I've been painting this fun playhouse and getting all caught up on Dr. Who.

I guess I'll let the kids play with this when
I'm finished...

Health wise things have been going pretty well **knock on wood**.  Interesting thing I have noticed is that if I'm having an unusually rough time with joint and muscle pain my stomach pain and IBS is not as bad.  On the flip side... if I'm having a rough stomach/IBS flare my joint and muscle pain is almost nonexistent.  Anyone else out there in fibromyalgia land have a similar experience?

Zazzle and Sh!t My Kid Says

Our kids say some pretty wacky things... I have been in the habit of posting random "Sydisms" as facebook status updates.  They are mostly Sydisms because Piper has just started to talk.  They have been enjoyed by a lot of people and we decided to give these little gems their very own facebook page and twitter account.  You can also find trinkets in the kiddos Zazzle shop.

We have fun.

Sleep deprivation...

I have had a bad cold / fibro flare / vertigo / anxiety day.  Sleep deprivation is kicked into high gear.  Thank goodness for Dr. Who and the interwebs.  Limitless mindless meanderings...

I did find this Yahoo! article to be quite interesting - Georgia Childhood Obesity Campaign Draws Criticism

I posted it to my facebook wall to start a debate... it turns out that rather than debate this particular topic all I really want to do is tell people who disagree with me that they're wrong.  Oh well.  Sometimes I'm a douche canoe.

In other news...  Piper is making great strides toward mastering the art of subtlety.  I'm proud.